Starting Over

Today is a new day. A day for new beginnings. A day for starting over.

Hello, my name is Selene and I'm a big fat fucking pig. I hate myself and the way I look but I'm too fat and lazy to do anything about it. I'm nothing but a loser and a failure at everything. Sometimes I wish I wasn't alive anymore.

...ok, so maybe that's not the best way to start this out. Let's try again.

Hi, my name is Selene and I need to lose about 140 pounds. I hate the way I look, I hate the way clothes fit me and, yeah, sometimes I hate myself because I don't seem to be able to stick with a weight loss program long enough to actually see lasting results. I'm getting married (hopefully, we haven't set a date officially yet) in October 2016 and I'd really love to actually like the way I look on my wedding day instead of wanting to burn all the pictures so that I don't have to look at mybigfatuglydisgustingcowofaself. So, here we go.

This is probably the 4th or 5th time I restarted this blog. I keep deleting the old entries in the hopes that I can somehow pretend to erase my previous failures and not screw up this time around. We'll see how that goes.

On to the statistical nonsense.

Name: Selene

Age: 34

Height: 5'9"

Weight: 290lbs

Goal Weight (Longterm): 150lbs

First Goal Weight: 250lbs

Reward at First Goal: To be determined (contemplating a new tattoo or piercing)

I just rejoined Weight Watchers today. Currently I have 45 points per day/49 weekly "cheat" points.

I have a gym membership at LA Fitness that I really, really need to start using.

I love walking/jogging outdoors, hiking and riding my bike. I also really enjoy swimming.

I can do this. I know I can do this. I have to prove to myself and everyone around me that I am not just a useless failure. I will do this. I have to do this. I want to be happier, healthier and able to live my life and love myself.

Here goes nothing...